China Bans Time Travel in Film and Television
Having solved all the other problems inherent with running a dictatorship of a billion people and some change (the change in this case being more people than are in our entire country), the Chinese government has decided that the most important thing they can do with their time is initiate a ban on all time travel in television shows and movies within the country. Says the General Bureau of Radio, Film and Television:
“The time-travel drama is becoming a hot theme for TV and films. But its content and the exaggerated performance style are questionable. Many stories are totally made-up and are made to strain for an effect of novelty. The producers and writers are treating the serious history in a frivolous way, which should by no means be encouraged anymore.”
Now that’s some solid snark. If these guys ever get purged, I think we should tap the Pajiba black ops squad to extract them and get them to work reviewing American television. Ripping on television for being “totally made-up?” Hell, even our news is on most days.
Dictators rarely have senses of humor, and they even more rarely have much affection for any art that’s worth a damn. Art challenges. Dictators run over challenges with tanks, and so the two don’t often get along so well. Why the singling out of time travel fiction? Time travel is about memory, it’s about showing the depth of history. Dictators live in an eternal present, pretending that they can keep the world from changing, pretending that they’ve always been and always shall be. Regardless of the particulars of a time travel story, it flies in the face of this lie. It demonstrates that not only was there a time before this current bastard, but that there will a time after as well.
But all seriousness aside, this tells us something of critical importance. By subtle induction only one conclusion can be reached. Skynet will rise in China.