How many goddamn times will network executives attempt to reboot old television series before they realize how futile it is? “The Bionic Woman” didn’t work. “Knight Rider” didn’t work. “American Gladiator” didn’t really work. “90210” failed; “Melrose Place” is not faring much better; and even “V” — after the bottom dropped out of its second-week ratings — looks like it’s not got much of a chance, either. Execs clearly don’t understand that the popularity of most of these shows is as much about time and place (and the original cast) as it is about the quality of the premise.
No matter: After reviving the ’70s television series “Charlie’s Angels” on the big screen with Drew Barrymore, ABC — which lost both “Eastwick” and “Hank” this week — is pushing ahead with a new “Charlie’s Angels” television series. And they are “particularly high on this project.”
But really: “Charlie’s Angels,” as much as “Knight Rider,” really was about the decades in which they were set. “Jiggle TV” was novel in the ’70s; now (thanks, in part, to “Charlie’s Angels”) it’s MTV. The original was cheesy, substance-free fun; and honestly, that’s not something we really value in television anymore (and I’m OK with that).
There might be some hope, however. Josh Friedman, who recently adapted the “Terminator” franchise for his Fox series “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles,” is on board to write and exec produce the new “Angels.” He could make it a grittier show, and maybe even deliver some compelling plots. Maybe it could be “Veronica Mars” with three Kristen Bells (ZOINKS!). Or a Kristen Bell, a Summer Glau, and a Felicia Day.
Damn. I’ve just convinced myself that it’s a good idea, after all. Can you imagine: Kristen Bell, a Summer Glau, and a Felicia Day? In string bikinis? Participating in roller derby?
I’ll set up the bunk for you.