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I Said Jump Down On Jump Street

By TK Burton | Industry | December 2, 2010 |

By TK Burton | Industry | December 2, 2010 |

Deadline’s Mike Fleming is all atwitter because the rumors of Charming Potato’s newest role on 21 Jump Street have been….

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What? Sorry, I blacked out from a combination of scotch and sheer fucking boredom. I’m trying hard to think of a way I could be less interested in this story, but I’m coming up with a big donut.

Mmmm… donuts. Donuts and scotch? Donuts and scotch. I’ll be right back. Here, watch this in the meantime:

I’m back. Did you watch it? I only watched the first 4 seconds before I came close to blacking out again.

Anyway, the film will star Potato and Jonah Hill, and I’m assuming Potato will be playing the role made famous by Johnny Depp. Actually, a better way of phrasing that is that the role made Johnny Depp famous, because Depp is a super duper star now and no one gives fuck about 21 Jump Street anymore. And hasn’t in about 25 years. And if you do, I want you to wrap a bungie cord around your neck and tie the other end to a city bus.

Everyone keeps saying that Potato is determined to reinvent himself into a real actor. Somehow this doesn’t seem like a step in the right direction, but baby steps, I guess. Or something.

The only remotely interesting factoid is that the show was originally created by Stephen J. Cannell, who also wrote a bunch of other revered shows from the same era — “The A-Team,” “The Greatest American Hero” and “Silk Stalkings,” to name a few. He was also a pretty successful novelist. Cannell unfortunately passed away in September of this year, but will apparently get a posthumous writing credit on the film.

There. That’s it. That’s the best I could do to make this even remotely interesting. If you got this far, frankly, I’m fucking stunned.

TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.