Deadline’s Mike Fleming is all atwitter because the rumors of Charming Potato’s newest role on 21 Jump Street have been….
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What? Sorry, I blacked out from a combination of scotch and sheer fucking boredom. I’m trying hard to think of a way I could be less interested in this story, but I’m coming up with a big donut.
Mmmm… donuts. Donuts and scotch? Donuts and scotch. I’ll be right back. Here, watch this in the meantime:
I’m back. Did you watch it? I only watched the first 4 seconds before I came close to blacking out again.
Anyway, the film will star Potato and Jonah Hill, and I’m assuming Potato will be playing the role made famous by Johnny Depp. Actually, a better way of phrasing that is that the role made Johnny Depp famous, because Depp is a super duper star now and no one gives fuck about 21 Jump Street anymore. And hasn’t in about 25 years. And if you do, I want you to wrap a bungie cord around your neck and tie the other end to a city bus.
Everyone keeps saying that Potato is determined to reinvent himself into a real actor. Somehow this doesn’t seem like a step in the right direction, but baby steps, I guess. Or something.
The only remotely interesting factoid is that the show was originally created by Stephen J. Cannell, who also wrote a bunch of other revered shows from the same era — “The A-Team,” “The Greatest American Hero” and “Silk Stalkings,” to name a few. He was also a pretty successful novelist. Cannell unfortunately passed away in September of this year, but will apparently get a posthumous writing credit on the film.
There. That’s it. That’s the best I could do to make this even remotely interesting. If you got this far, frankly, I’m fucking stunned.