I saw a trailer this morning for a movie called Giant Mechanical Robot. It’s about a woman played by Jenna Fischer who falls in love with one of those human statues you see in large plazas in major metropolitan areas on nice days. They’re basically tourist attractions, and I’ll admit — coming from Arkansas — the first time I saw one in San Francisco, I got a huge kick out of it. They’ll stand perfectly frozen until some kid comes up, and then they’ll flinch, startle the shit out of the kid, and everyone will drop a dollar in the basket.
What’s remarkable about this movie, however, is that it manages to cast, like, all the Topher Graces in Hollywood, including Topher Grace himself: Incredibly likable people that you just really don’t care about that much. The female Topher Grace, of course, is Jenna Fischer, while the living statue is played by kind of the male version of Elizabeth Banks, Chris Messina, a likable presence in everything he’s in, but not someone you seek out. Malin Akerman rounds out the cast, and in a way, she’s a Topher herself, although a Topher many of you would climb like a telephone pole during a flood.
But obviously, Topher Grace is the King of All Tophers, a guy we like a lot, but we’re just not that interested in. He’s like a guy you want to hang out with, but only when other people are around. Like, he’s fun to have around to interject wisecracks, but you don’t really want to have a one-on-one conversation with him.
He should totally be in more movies! But I don’t really want to see them.
That about sums up my feelings for Giant Mechanical Robot.