The on-again off-again remake of Footloose is on again. Indeed, after Zac Efron realized that if he took Kevin Bacon’s role in Footloose that he’d forever be the pretty girl in all those crappy teenager musicals, he dropped out. But now, a replacement is official (although, it’s been rumored for weeks by people who are proud to be in that inner circle). Chace Crawford will take the role.
I have no idea who that is. But the pictures suggest he’s almost as pretty as Efron.
I hope to God that kid doesn’t think he’s straight. That’d be the self-delusion to end all self-delusions.
According to his iMDB bio, he plays Nate Archibald on “Gossip Girl.” Of course he does. You know: I was starting to get a little bored with the sudden surge of schlubby man-boys dominating Hollywood (Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen), but motherfuck, anything is better than the tousle-haired douche pancakes that are now starting to dominate. Give me Jonah Hill as the lead in Footloose any day over this perpetually nubile starletard. Hill can sing, too. You remember his falsetto in Accepted? Better yet, just get Charlie Talbert and let him spaz out on the dance floor.
And speaking of pretty girls, Footloose director Kenny Ortega (The High School Musical movies, duh) is currently trying to cast his female lead, too. And apparently Miley Cyrus is “in the mix,” along with Hayden Panettiere and Amanda Bynes. Those two I know. I only wish I didn’t. I think Cyrus would be a perfect compliment to Crawford. In fact, then they could retitle the movie: Footloose: Androgynous.