While Fox is out making reality shows that attempt to lower the bar into the Earth’s core (“More to Love” Something’s Gotta Give”) CBS seems intent on creating the most facile, tediously dull reality shows imaginable. Not content to unspool a 47th edition of “Big Brother,” and renew “I Get That Alot” for a second season (that’s a hidden camera show where celebrities take low-wage jobs and basically poke fun at blue-collar people for suggesting they look like who they are), the Eye Network is now in the process of developing “The Block Party.”
What’s the block party about? It’s kind of like “Big Brother,” only the limitations are basically nil. Described as something akin to The Simpson’s movie, where the city of Springfield is trapped in a dome bubble, “Block Party” is about eight families who have their entire neighborhood walled off. For three weeks, the eight families are then forced to interact with one another.
Oh, the humanity!
Can you imagine being trapped in your own neighborhood, in your own house, with your own Internet and cable TV for three whole weeks with nothing but the hope of winning a cash prize at the end of all that misery?! I’m just thankful they didn’t choose my neighborhood — I’d be forced to interact with nice geriatric Jewish couples who have lived her for five decades and all their semi-amusing anecdotes on the history of the neighborhood. Jesus: Think of all the traumatic dinner parties?! God help me if I’m stuck talking to the 80-year-old lady down the street who has been in all the Jaws films. I think I’d just stick my head in the oven first.
Hey CBS: Grow a pair. If your contestants aren’t marrying their first cousins or eating monkey poop for the chance to win $50 and some pocket lint, don’t even bother.