You folks ever heard of Captain Blood, a 1935 Errol Flynn swashbuckler? Me neither. I can’t say I watch a lot of 1930s swashbucklers. But just so you know: Warner Brothers is remaking Captain Blood, and the Spierig Brothers (Daybreakers, out in 2010) are attached to direct.
The original movie was about an enslaved English doctor and his comrades in chains, who escape and become pirates of the Robin Hood variety. Producer Bill Gerber realized, of course, that Pirates of the Caribbean already owns the swashbuckling pirates genre, so he did what any sane producer might.
He set the fucker in space.
Gerber said that despite the radical period and venue switch, the film will be fairly faithful to a plot in which the doctor, Peter Blood, joins up with a French pirate (played in the original by Basil Rathbone), only to clash with the buccaneer when the woman he loves (Olivia De Havilland) is captured by the pirate skipper.
“There are some things you don’t mess with, and that is as classic a movie storyline as you will ever find,” Gerber said.
Ha! You just don’t mess with a classic storyline! I mean, besides setting it in space, in the future. But everything else is exactly the same! What’s next? They should remake Star Wars and set it in a contemporary office environment. Genius!