Yesterday, director/writer/visionary James Cameron finally started production on his ambitious follow-up to his hit 2009 film Avatar. Why is the idea of another Hollywood sequel worthy of the term “ambitious”? Because he’s not just making one (seriously delayed) sequel — he’s filming four of them, back to back, at a budget of over a billion dollars. It’s cool though: the original Avatar grossed literally more money than any other film.
And, fun fact, Cameron’s Titanic, an overly long movie about a ship sinking THAT WE ALL KNEW WOULD FUCKING SINK BECAUSE IT’S THE GODDAMN TITANIC, grossed the second largest pile of cash ever. Those number don’t account for inflation, but still, billions of dollars are billions of dollars. So blowing a billion or so on four more blue alien flicks seems like a safe bet, especially from the guy who made a shit-ton of money SINKING THE GODDAMN TITANIC.
(Sorry, teenage me still has a lot of angst about having to watch that shit at slumber parties)
But here’s the thing: I don’t remember anything about Avatar. Or, rather, what I can remember can be summed up thusly:
- Blue aliens
- Hair sex? Maybe? I think there was sex.
- Probably ripped off FernGully and Dances With Wolves, though I can’t remember the specifics…
- OMG ALL THAT HOT 3D IMAX SPLOOSH!
The rest, I fear, has been lost to the years (or to The Worthington Effect, trademark Pajiba 2017). But if you want a refresher, you don’t have to watch the film. Instead, book a flight to DisneyWorld and experience “Pandora — The World Of Avatar” yourself! You still probably won’t remember much of the plot, but at least there’s booze.
Come to World of Pandora! We have green beer. pic.twitter.com/gYo9rSZ8Jd— Lindsay S. Pumpkins (@thelindsayellis) September 25, 2017
Anyway, Avatar 2: Electric Blue Boogaloo will be in theaters on December 18, 2020 — exactly 11 years after the first Avatar launched. The subsequent sequels will bow in December 2021, December 2024, and December 2025. If nothing else, they’ll probably be shot entirely in 4D/VR or experienced exclusively using Cameron’s proprietary “TheatAvater” personal avatar technology. You stay home, but send a blue Na’vi (I looked that word up! That’s the alien race!) to a theater to see the movie in person for you.