BEHOLD! I BRING YOU MEH TIDINGS OF GREAT IDIOCY AND CREATIVE DEATH!

We’ve had remakes. We’ve had prequels, sequels, shot-for-shot remakes of classics, and that one time we thought that a horror movie based on a board game was a good idea. But now, now we have a remake of a movie released in 2002 that will be using the exact same script penned by Eli Roth and Randy Pearlstein. We have a do-over? reinterpretation? remake…quel? of Cabin Fever.

The original Cabin Fever had Shawn Hunter Rider Strong as a college dude just going out to a cabin in the middle of Crazy Town with a gaggle of friends that fit into the horror tropes nicely. While out at the cabin, a plague begins to spread and we are given the infamous fingering scene with Strong and Jordan Ladd. Ugh, gross.

Eli Roth says:

“Travis had an amazing vision for my original script, and as a scary movie fan I really wanted to see it. I almost see this like re-staging a play, and I’m excited to see what ideas Travis and the cast bring to it. They’re all fans of the original and want to make a film that’s a new classic and I believe they will.”

The new cast includes Gage Golightly (Teen Wolf), Dustin Ingram (Paranormal Activity 3), Samuel Davis (Machete Kills), Matthew Daddario (Delivery Man), and Nadine Crocker (Deadgirl).

Why would I pay money to see something I own already and know all about?

← 5 Shows After Dark: Coming Next Fall: James Spader Costarring Hats | The Woman Behind This Year's Most Controversial 'SNL' Moment Has Been Added to the Cast →

Review: ‘Jimmy Savile: A British Horror Story’ Examines Britain’s Most Notorious Abuser

A Small Appreciation for the Unsung Heroes of the Startup Scandal Series

Jodi Smith is a Senior Reporter, Film & Television at Pajiba. You can email her or follow her on Twitter.