Hold onto your bonnets for this one, my fellow outrage-philes. I’ve got a doozy for you. I know we’re all sick of having our favorite books and movies rebooted, and have given up any hope that these remakes could actually be done well. So if I were to tell you that a new Little Women adaptation is in the works, I imagine you wouldn’t be too happy about it.
But what if I were to say that this new adaptation had a slant to it that is so horrendously stupid, it’s hard to believe it’s not being made with the sole purpose of upsetting us. A movie that must be a prank or a dare or the first step in a Hollywood-wide cult suicide pact because how can people actually think anyone WANTS this? Welcome to your dark, gritty Little Women dystopia. As Deadline describes it,
Little Women is described as a hyper-stylized, gritty adaptation of the 1868 novel by Louisa May Alcott, in which disparate half-sisters Jo, Meg, Beth, and Amy band together in order to survive the dystopic streets of Philadelphia and unravel a conspiracy that stretches far beyond anything they have ever imagined - all while trying not to kill each other in the process.
Oh, COME ON, Hollywood.
Just leave our books alone. Please.
By the way, this project comes to us from a dude from NCIS and a “rising writer,” whose name brings up one IMDB credit and a story about a Mr. Rogers biopic that never got made. You know, just in case you thought this couldn’t sound any worse. You were wrong.