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The Chin Sequelizes the Wrong Damn Movie

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | January 19, 2010 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | January 19, 2010 |

Everybody loves Bruce Campbell. It’s true — fanboys, geeks, your average moviegoer, anyone who watches “Burn Notice,” and even your mother. Seriously: Ask her. She will tell you the God’s honest: She’d pull up her sun dress for The Chin any day. And we not only forgive The Chin for his occasional transgression, we applaud him! He’s a B-movie star — it’s what we want.

But this? No. We don’t really want this. Bruce Campbell tells AICN that it’s official. He’s making a sequel. Not to Evil Dead. Not even to Bubba Ho-Tep. Sadly, the sequel is to My Name is Bruce, which was a huge cult film, in Campbell’s head.

Indeed, the original Bruce put up only $173,000 in theaters, and while it probably brought in a modest amount of DVD coin, it really was the kind of movie that we all wanted to support — because we love Campbell — but we didn’t actually want to watch. I had every intention myself, until I read Prisco’s review: “Instead of the knockout mozzarella-fest I was expecting, it’s a pathetically weak rehash of Three Amigos with less meat in it than soup kitchen meatloaf … Campbell’s trying to delve for yucks with a combination of fourth-grade booger humor and F-Grade decapitations.”

I know, I know. It hurt my heart to read, too.

No matter: Bruce is bringing it back, starring once again as himself, but this time instead of facing off against a David Lo Pan action figure, Campbell will be fighting Frankenstein in Bruce vs. Frankenstein. He sent a statement to AICN saying as much:.

Hello everyone. Bruce Campbell here. This urgent message is short, because my keystrokes are monitored and I fear for my life. My partner at Dark Horse comics, Mike Richardson (normally a very rational and talented man), threatened to have his foot soldiers “crush my spleen” if I did what I am about to do. But the fans deserve to know, so with great trepidation I officially announce Bruce Vs. Frankenstein, the sequel to My Name is Bruce. Principal photography begins this fall in Oregon. I’d like to live long enough to see the cameras roll, so please, for the love of God, do not tell anyone - I can’t risk this announcement getting back to Mike! Thank you.

I’m assuming the thing about not telling anyone was bluster, and Harry Knowles is not some giant dick who’d burn Campbell for an exclusive. He’s a sycophantic tub of lard, but he’s not a monster. Right?

Anyway, that’s happening. At least Bruce is getting some work, particularly after the cancellation of Spider-Man 4, which was supposed to feature a meatier Campbell role.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.