Settle in, folks. Place your hand on your significant other’s left breast. Grab some Ben & Jerry’s, cause we got some SCOOP.
(That was fun; I feel like a perverted E! Entertainment reporter)
I was doing some Internet sleuthing earlier today, and I typed into the little Google box “Mustache Rides” and “Broken Lizard” because obviously those are the two things that preoccupy my mind most of the day. I hit “get lucky” because I like a fortuitous Internet search, and lo and behold, I come across an electronic press kit from last year for Broken Lizard’s Slammin Salmon’. And in that little press release, I discover that Broken Lizard member Paul Soter is developing a movie called Moustache Riders for Paramount, which is set to star Willie Nelson and Johnny Knoxville.
That’s old news, I guess. So, I dial up my old friend, The Hollywood Cog, and I ask him/her about Moustache Rides, and he/she says, “You’re great and all, Dustin, but oral sex is not something I was hoping to get out of this relationship.” And I’m like, no no … that’s not what I meant. What I meant was, do you know anything about this Broken Lizard movie, Moustache Riders. And he/she says with a sigh of relief, “Oh. Yeah. I got something for you.”
Turns out, Paramount is developing a movie called Moustache Riders that was originally scripted by the Broken Lizard gang, but it apparently needs a little more work before it’s up to snuff, by which I mean: good enough to even qualify as a bad Broken Lizard movie. And Moustache Riders will, indeed, star Johnny Knoxville and Willie Nelson (Nelson’s the one with the moustache, after all. Also, the bong.).
Want more? The movie is meant to be a comedic take on The Treasure of Sierra Madre, that old Humphrey Bogart flick based on B. Traven’s novel about some men huntin’ for gold down in Mexico. I’m not really sure how the moustache rides fits into the equation, but I do know that Spike Jonze is one of the producers of this movie, which makes sense because he collaborates with Johnny Knoxville on the Jack-Ass movies.
Who knows if Moustache Riders will ever actually make it to the big screen, but it at least has an interesting triumvirate in Broken Lizard, Johnny Knoxville, and Willie Nelson. Two wrongs rarely make a right. But Willie Nelson could bend it in the right direction.
You know something else I learned? There’s lot of ways to spell “moustache.” I prefer the Canadian method.