I have been led to believe by The Huffington Post that Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson have decided to end their marriage of two years . I would just to make it known, before I am further inundated with emails (thanks!), that R-Squared’s decision to divorce has no bearing on my heterosexual man crush, which I officially ended last month. I wish Double R the best in his future romantic pursuits, and harbor no ill will toward Ms. Johansson.

I would also like to note that, though I did recently receive a lock of Ryan Reynolds’ hair, I am certain that the witch’s spell I placed on their marriage had no effect. There’s no such thing as black magic. *

*There’s totally such a thing as black magic. And it works, bitches.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.