Ugh, Mel fucking Gibson versus Johnny fucking Depp. It’s like the industry wants to rub in our faces how little it cares about consequences for actions when the bottom line looks good.
But before we get to that misery, some good news. As expected, Thor: Ragnarok took the top spot at the box office once more, pushing its domestic total ahead of the first two films in the series after just ten days in theatres. Even with a 53.9% drop in attendance, the movie still took in $56.6m, and its domestic gross has soared past the movie’s budget. Look at the magic our Kiwi silver fox can do. Aren’t you glad you all voted him into the Pajiba 10? You smart people.
And now the shit news. Daddy’s Home 2 did better than expected, because there’s nothing the public love more than noted anti-Semitic wife beating racist Mel Gibson. Hey, remember when he told his ex and the mother of one of his children, who he abused, she looked ‘like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n******, it will be your fault’? Or when he called Winona Ryder an ‘oven dodger’? Or, you know, that whole blaming ‘The Jews’ for the ills of the earth? Ah, good times. But I guess that’s water under the bridge now because reasons.
Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah, Daddy’s Home 2, a title that makes my skin crawl to type it. That brought in £30 on its opening weekend, so I guess we’ll be seeing a sequel to that one in a year or two. Who can they add to the illustrious cast that includes Gibson and Marky Mark ‘beat a Vietnamese man with a stick across the head until he was knocked unconscious’ Wahlberg? I guess Kevin Spacey’s free for the next decade or so.
But don’t worry, if that wasn’t your preferred new release of thw eek, we also have a Johnny Depp movie? Murder on the Orient Express, another adaptation of the Agatha Christie classic starring a murderer’s row of non-abusive talent and Kenneth Branagh’s mustache, also surpassed expectations to gross $28.2m.
The rest of the top 10 is familiar stuff, with the exception of Lady Bird, Greta Gerwig’s solo directorial debut. The critically acclaimed drama, starring Saoirse Ronan, increased its theatre numbers to 37 and grossed over $1.2m this week, averaging a whopping $33,766 per theatre average. That’s good news for distributor A24, who have been reporting sold out screenings all week, and bodes well for the awards season. Another potential Oscar darling opened this week, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, which took in $320,000 from only 4 screens - a $80k average per theatre! Fox Searchlight are pushing this one hard. They’ve had a weird couple of years with failed festival buzz, from the Sundance revered Patti Cake$ failing to pass $1m domestically despite the hefty price paid for it, to the small matter of last year’s The Birth of a Nation.
Oh yeah, and some people still paid money to see The Snowman, apparently. That’s sweet.
Next week sees the release of Justice League, so start preparing now for the totally not awful subset of DCU fans who take any minor joke or criticism as a personal attack and start stalking your social media to prove how evil you are.
You can check out the rest of the weekend box office here.
What films did you watch this weekend? Is your moustache as big as Branagh!Poirot’s? Do you come from the land of the ice and snow? Which active volcano would you throw Mel Gibson into given the chance? How many billboards is too many billboards? Answers in the comments.