According to Collider, Universal Studios is all hepped up on goofballs and giving everything a sequel, a reboot, or a movie version. Well, not everything. Most of the things.
Adam Fogelson, Universal’s chairman, was happy to talk about hope for a sequel to Mama. I haven’t seen Mama yet, but it sounds like the kind of premise that doesn’t invite a sequel. Judging from the continued decline in quality and originality from franchises like Paranormal Activity, Saw (The first one is still good!), Final Destination (Which I unashamedly ADORE.), and Scream, studios aren’t interested in letting the story progress naturally. They’re interested in snatching up fistfuls of money, snorting coke off starlet asses, and using what works until it no longer does. Mama’s director, Andrés Muschiettiis, is not interested in the sequel either:
“We sort of wore out the subject matter…I never thought this could continue. Sequels are always tricky. I know how studios think but I don’t see Mama as something you can exploit because you’re screwing with the original. I’m really hoping to jump into some other movies right now.”
Fogelson also wants to gift us with a sequel to Identity Thief. The financially successful, yet critically sh*t-canned, film is another premise that would be a stretch to continue. This is especially true since Jason Bateman’s and Melissa McCarthy’s characters would return. What, does McCarthy steal Bateman’s identity again? Convince him to help her find someone that stole her identity? GAH AND BAH!
Universal, according toThe Hollywood Reporter, would also love to torture you with a Fifty Shades movie by 2014. I am sure that Fogelson probably kept a straight face while saying this:
“I don’t believe that [author EL James] had any interest in going to a studio where rushing it into production was the vision. I don’t believe that the second or third film would have benefited from that strategy.”
VISION??! HAAAAA no. Her vision was to write up some “Twilight” rip-off she could read before playing with the little man in the boat, only with more bondage, and it somehow became a hit. Vision? No. She doesn’t have any vision that didn’t belong to someone else, terrible as it may be, before she shat it onto some pages.
What else does this man have in store for the movie-watching public? A re-boot of Van Helsing, more Bourne movies, and that will-they-won’t-they Snow White and the Hunstman sequel with Kristen Stewart’s role still secure. Don’t you have somewhere you want to go now?