First of all, we must all come to terms with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie being Bay-ified. We have to accept Megan Fox as intrepid reporter April O’Neil, look at these set photos, and then shriek about the missing yellow jumpsuit. BOI-OI-OI-OI-OING.
She’s laughing at us.
I don’t have to accept the fact that Will Arnett continually makes poor
life movie choices. What is he in now? Look at the photos above. That movie? The one with Megan Fox as April O’Neil? Why, Arnett will be playing her cameraman, Vernon Fenwick. While I’m sure that Arnett can bring the proper level of scheming and manipulative behavior to the character, I’m just disappointed. I’m not even mad. A Michael Bay flick? COME ON.
Arnett wasn’t in Hot Tub Time Machine, right? I think I laughed at that movie. I think. At any rate, Adam “The Hedgehog (No, The Other Hedgehog)” Scott will be taking over for John Cusack in the sequel, imaginatively titled Hot Tub Time Machine 2. Scott will not be playing the same character as Cusack, but will be someone altogether new. Craig Robinson, Rob Corddry, and Clark Duke will most likely be reprising their roles when the movie begins filming next month.
In other sequel news, Zoe Saldana believes Avatar 2 and Avatar 3 will be filmed together next year. In the beginning of the year. So. I’ve never seen Avatar. It falls under the category of Stubbornly Avoiding Because Of Cameron And Being Over-Hyped, which is the same category Titanic is in. Are there Avatar-themed Fleshlights?
Moving on, Shusaku Endo’s Silence is being adapted by Martin Scorsese and Andrew Garfield has been tapped for the lead. Garfield will play Father Rodrigues, a Portuguese Jesuit priest that travels to Japan to help his mentor rediscover his faith. The film will take place in the 17th Century and looks to be a thriller. Oh, and the majority of the film will be in Japanese.
Finally, Veronica Roth’s YA trilogy has its first movie adaptation, Divergent, opening March 21, 2014. Already, the sequel, Insurgent, is being written. Who is writing the script? Why, Jane Got a Gun scribe Brian Duffield! Luckily, the casting can’t become a clusterf*ck, as the cast remains the same for the trilogy. Shailene Woodley, Kate Winslet, Theo James, Ashley Judd, Tony Goldwyn, Ray Stevenson, Mekhi Phifer, Maggie Q, Jai Courtney, Miles Teller, Zoë Kravitz, Ansel Elgort, Ben Lloyd-Hughes, Ben Lamb, Christian Madsen and Amy Newbold are in for some juicy 3-picture deals if the first movie is successful.
However, I find it a bit presumptuous to think that Divergent will fare like the Twilight movies and The Hunger Games, even though I enjoyed the series just as much as those two. One must only look to Beautiful Creatures, I Am Number 4, The Golden Compass, or Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant to know that a popular series does not necessarily a movie franchise make.