Biz Break: Hercules! Hercules! Hercules!: One of the Twilight Vamps Is Going Head To Head With The Rock.
If you remember, I told you that Jane Got A Gun was looking at Jake Gyllenhaal, Tobey Maguire, and Jeff Bridges to replace Jude Law. Apparently the three actors mixed together make an emu, because Variety reports that Bradley Cooper has accepted the role of the Big Bad in the Natalie Portman picture. I think that you combine Gyllenhaal’s hairy chest and ability to grow a beard in about an hour, Bridges’ ability to go from goofy Dude to menacing Obadiah Stane, and Maguire’s, um…Maguire’s ability to have brown hair? They lock together like Voltron and create Cooper, but it’s called something different. Like Emu-tron.
Does anyone want to start a betting pool concerning the next problem to beset the production of Jane Got A Gun?
The casting for the new Godzilla is blowing my tiny little mind. Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Bryan Cranston, Elizabeth Olsen, Ken Watanabe, David Strathairn and Juliette Binoche will be joined by Sally Hawkins (Happy-Go-Lucky). What in the actual f*ck is in that script that made all of these very talented people say, “Yes. I want to star in a movie about a giant lizard attacking the United States. That sounds like a solid career move after “Breaking Bad”/Martha Marcy May Marlene/winning awards/etc.”??
Gareth Edwards either has the best script that has ever been written, one with the ability to make people orgasm from brushing their fingertip across the title page, or it’s blackmail. There can be no in-between here, people. One or the other.
The very pretty but very, very horrible actor Kellan Lutz has been cast as Hercules in Hercules 3D. You might be saying to yourself, “Self, I thought Dwayne Johnson was Hercules. WHAT IS HAPPENING?”. Worry not, as Dwayne Johnson is totally Hercules in the Hercules being directed by Brett Ratner. Kellan Lutz will be the legendary strongman for director Renny Harlin. Hercules 3D hopes to beat Hercules to the theater with a May release. Hercules.
Aw, him pretty, but him no talks or thinks so good.