Dawn of the Planet of the Apes takes place 15 years after the events of Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Apparently James Franco’s character, who created the super-smart Caeser that led the apes away in a revolt, was killed or shot into space to live on a satellite with robots and watch bad movies, because he isn’t in the sequel. Or maybe SPOILER he died from the virus unleashed at the end of the first movie.
In Franco’s place is Jason Clarke (Zero Dark Thirty) in an unspecified lead role, Kodi Smit-McPhee (Let Me In) as the same, and Gary Oldman (EVERYTHING) might be the leader of the humans left on Earth. Andy Serkis is returning as Caesar, leader of the apes and eventual harbinger of human doom! Dawn will be directed by Matt Reeves (Coverfield) and hits theaters May 23rd, 2014.
Aaron Eckhart is sliding into action hero territory with Erased, a movie about a former CIA Black Ops agent on the run from former employers trying to murder him. Yawn.
Bradley Cooper is interested in directing and might direct himself in Kokowääh, the remake of a German comedy from 2011. Cooper is definitely starring in the film about a man that discovers he has an 8-year-old daughter and that she loves her foster father more than him. The film was a huge hit in Germany and the sequel opened at number one, so the remake will be looking for franchise possibilities as well. Also interesting is the fact that Til Schweiger (Inglourious Basterds) directed and co-wrote the original film. Unfortunately, it sounds awful and we should remember that the Germans like Hasselhoff.
Daniel Radcliffe is making lots of bold and interesting choices in his post-Potter career. I’m excited for his turn as Ig Parrish in the movie adaptation of Joe Hill’s “Horns” and now he’s been cast as Igor in Frankenstein. This particular re-imagining of the classic horror story doesn’t focus on the Dr. Frankenstein or his Monster, but on Igor. Paul McGuigan (Lucky Number Slevin) will direct the Max Landis (Chronicle, son of John Landis) penned script and shooting is set to begin this fall.
Paranormal Activity 5 is looking for a new hook to bring in audiences. I’d say that’s a good idea and maybe they should move away from the Katie story and onto something else. Or maybe tell the story to a satisfying conclusion. That would be good. Except, no, the story won’t be changed, but their grab for 3D money might. Bleeding Cool is reporting that PA5 might go the route of the original Thirteen Ghosts and give customers the ability to see more ghosts, or more of the ghosts with the 3D glasses technology. F*ck that. MAKE ANOTHER GOOD MOVIE. Keep your damn glasses and shove them up your respective asses. Better yet, let’s pretend the PA movies stopped with the second one and be done with it. Good? Yes.
Last of all, this news makes me giggle, Dane Cook is the lead in Disney’s animated feature Planes. Cook (I accidentally typed ‘Cock’ on my first go) will play Dusty, a plane that is afraid of heights. Even more idiotic is that the press release is saying Cook “brings unmatched charisma and brilliant comedic timing and instincts to the character”. HAAAAAA! OKAY! Maybe the best part: Jon Cryer was originally the voice of Dusty. WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN. HAHAHAH! Yep. I’ve lost it. Send Deadpool comics, cupcakes, and chai tea.