Biz Break: Even My Irrational Love Of Jessica Simpson Won't Make Me Watch Her Act
That’s right. I don’t really like Anne Hathaway, but I will forever hold a soft spot in my heart (head?) for Jessica Simpson. I have no idea what it is about Simpson. Either she is a very shrewd businesswoman, building her empire of shoes, bags, and clothes, or she has someone on staff that keeps her making money. She also gets to take lots of vacations and can be kind of a dolt. She would be so fun to shop and have a girl’s day out with and I could teach her about the English language.
What was I talking about? Oh yeah! NBC has decided to give Simpson her own television show. The scripted television show, written by Nick Bakay (Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Zookeeper), will be semi-autobiographical. If that doesn’t have you squealing in pain and despair, know that one of the producers involved thinks Simpson is “truly a modern-day Lucy with incredible comedic chops”. Oh, honey. No. If we were besties I could talk you out of this. Your loss. Well, it’s sort of a loss for all of us.
Let’s move on to Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje talking about his roles in Thor: The Dark World. He will be playing Algrim and Kurse, the villain(s) of the sequel.
Meanwhile, Joss Whedon is preparing to destroy our hearts with Avengers 2. The man
threatens says, “All of these people have met, so you have that out of the way. Now you can spend your time just digging in — and by digging in, I mean with a scalpel, to cause pain.”
Please, Whedon. We can’t take much more. WHY DO YOU WANT TO HURT US? WHYYYY?
Finally, because interesting news is kind of scarce today, Emma Stone is in talks to star in Guillermo del Toro’s Crimson Peak. You may recall that this is del Toro’s ode to the haunted house genre, set at the turn of the century. I approve!