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Biz Break: Brett Ratner Is Making Hercules With Dwayne Johnson, So Expect The Gods To Cure Themselves Of Powers And Suck

By Jodi Smith | Industry | January 17, 2013 |

By Jodi Smith | Industry | January 17, 2013 |

Uuugggghhhh. Why do people keep letting Brett Ratner do things? HE IS TERRIBLE. I want to punch him in his hairy troll face and then falcon punch his taint. Ratner has been given the reins to Hercules, starring Dwayne Johnson as the strongest man in the movie. Graphic novel “Hercules: The Thracian Wars” serves as the adaptation material and concerns Hercules training an army for the King of Thrace. Also, he appears to be wearing a lion head on his own head, complete with pelt cape!


Moving on to news that has been trotted out for years without ever coming to fruition, Gremlins might be getting a reboot. Talks have taken place with Steven Spielberg time and time again, with his Iron Price never being met. (Rumor has it he only wanted to be paid in money taken from the weak, bathed in their blood, and in sequential bills.) This time might be the time, kids! He might decide to go full George Lucas, say f*ck it, and let someone else have their way with our childhood. Ooooh boy! I bet Gizmo will have a squeaky voice, dance to a Nicki Minaj song, and fart a lot!


Let us complete the trio of infinite sadness with the trailer for Springbreakers.

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Jodi Smith is a Senior Reporter, Film & Television at Pajiba. You can email her or follow her on Twitter.