Middle-aged George Clooney, who makes young George Clooney look like trash, is confirmed to star in the Damon Lindelof and Brad Bird penned 1952. Bird will be directing the film, it will be sci-fi and … well, that’s sort of all the news out there about the movie. Rumors are floating that it will be enough of a tentpole release to warrant 3D conversion, but Bird himself took to Twitter to shoot that down. Interestingly enough, the 3D conversion talk came straight from the Disney press release for 1952. December 19th, 2014 will reveal who is telling the truth and who is telling SCIENCE FICTION!
I remember watching Ben-Hur in high school and my friend Jesse yelling out, “Jesus Christ!” whenever the Messiah was on screen. It looks like Jesse will be able to shout out to JC even more when Ben-Hur is remade. MGM doesn’t have the rights to the 1959 movie, but since they are using a script based heavily on the book, it’s all nice and legal. Delights. As I alluded, this adaptation of the book “Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ” by Lew Wallace will focus more on Jesus and the building of the friendship between Ben-Hur and Messala. Neat. Since I haven’t revisited Ben-Hur since high school and was bored to tears by it back then, save the giggles at Jesse’s outburst, I can’t say I care either way about this remake or the original. Does it crush your soul?
Arnold Schwarzenegger wants to remind everyone that he is an action star and that he has at least one illegitimate child and four other kids with his pissed off wife that he needs to provide for monetarily. So we get the sh*t looking The Last Stand and news that Schwarzenegger will reprise his Conan role in The Legend of Conan. Don’t worry, because the filmmakers will also age Conan so that Schwarzenegger doesn’t look foolish in the role. Uh-huh. Filming should begin late this year.
Anne Hathaway, she of shaking breathlessness and Taylor Swift-like surprise, will be starring in an adaptation of “The Taming of the Shrew” set in Italy. Abi Morgan (Shame) is handling the writing duties and will set the film in the mid-twentieth century. I am not interested. Anne Hathaway has never been a draw for me to watch a movie. Rather, I’ve watched movies and endured her in them.
Also, if I want to watch an adaptation of “The Taming of the Shrew” then I know where to go: my movie shelf to grab my Blu-ray of 10 Things I Hate About You. We have Heath Ledger at his, arguably, most adorable, singing, soccer, turgid members, house parties, JGL, and prom. YOU CANNOT HOPE TO TOP THAT SO DO NOT TRY!