You love Alfred Hitchcock’s “Birds”? Yeah, well fuck you. That’s because you’ve never seen a real bird-themed horror film. It’s because you haven’t seen Birdemic: Shock and Terror (is that an echo I hear? Yes, it is). It comes from visionary director James Nguyen, who will one day own all of Hollywood, and though I’ve only seen this two-minute trailer, I can already tell you one thing about this movie: It will steal your fucking soul and eat it for lunch.
You like romance? Yeah, there’s plenty of that here. Fucking, too. But the important thing is, there are killer birds that will chew off your genitalia and take a crap in your wounds. If you’re at all sensitive to depraved bird violence, don’t watch this trailer. If you have even the slightest case of Ornithophobia, then turn off your computer and throw it out the window. I doubt I will sleep again for days. I won’t even be able to walk outside without reminding myself that this is only a movie. It’s only a movie … only a movie …
Jesus. Just thinking about it makes my bowels quiver.
(Hat Tip: EILCoolJ)