Let's Whirl Some Sh*t Up
You never know how much to take seriously from an actor out plugging a project who doesn’t have a lot to say about it that hasn’t already been said or that has plenty to say, but no one cares. Interviewers get anxious, and actors want to keep them in the conversation, so sometimes, they’ll just start shooting shit about hypothetical projects or stuff they’ve been tossing around in their own heads while they’re smoking bowls or snorting lines off a stripper’s ass. Last week, for example, in order to keep an interviewer interested in talking about a movie, Wonderful World, that no one has seen (but me — the review will be up tomorrow), the topic turned to a possible Ferris Bueller’s Day Off remake. Matthew Broderick had little to say except that it wouldn’t bother him, because what the hell does he care? — he made a great movie and no one can take that away from him — and that was enough to make some news. And news is good when you’re trying to attract attention to a project no one has ever heard of.
I suspect something similar is at play here — Bill Paxton, out promoting the season premiere of “Big Love,” got off on a tangent about a possible Twister sequel, and some ideas he had for it. And the story then became Twister 2 and everyone forgot what he was there to promote in the first place.
Apparently, Paxton was out in the Ozarks with a friend from the original movie, and they decided to track the trail of the tri-state tornado of 1925, which cut a damaging path 219 miles long and killed 700 people. Whammo! Inspiration.
“So we just did that to kind of get some ideas, and from that I kind of extrapolated an idea for a sequel. And I kind of put that together into a format, and now we’re kind of waiting to see if that’s going to move forward.That would need Steven Spielberg’s blessing, ultimately, and they probably won’t take it to him ‘til there’s real studio interest, but I think the 3D applications of that could obviously be pretty amazing.”
It’s frivolous talk, of course, but it is the kind that could get the ball rolling. The idea of a sequel to a fairly wretched original movie about some dumbasses chasing tornadoes (which was an awesome movie if you were 15) sounds silly until you consider the 3D implications, and then you’ve potentially got a tornado movie where shit is flying up in three inches from your face like Kanye’s balls during a blow-job seizure. Add motion seats, and hell: You’ve got a money-maker on your hands. Although, my guess is that if they ever did greenlight a sequel to Twister, they wouldn’t bring back Bill Paxton or Helen Hunt. They’re hardly blockbuster material anymore.
“The only reason I’d like to revisit that ground is because I realize we’re living in a time where big movies cost so much to make that the town is looking for built-in audiences,” admitted Paxton. “Of course, I’m so glad to see that the success of ‘Avatar’ is disproving that theory, but…I always thought the first ‘Twister’ was an exciting ride, but I thought a sequel could explore it in a more enthralling way, getting into more of the history and the lore, more of a darker version of the first one.”
The history and lore of a tornado? I think we’ll just stick to houses and cows flying around while shit blows up, thank you very much. When you’re talking tornado movie, I think we can do without the origin story and the complicated past of a loner tornado out in Mississippi that’s pissed off a tropical storm took all its glory.