What Was I Supposed to Do? The Dead Horse Twitched
You guys know what the Criterion Collection is, don’t you? It’s a company that distributes “authoritative” films … “important classics and contemporary films.” Classics being the operative word. The Criterion Collection, for instance, has the definitive versions of Citizen Kane, Dr. Strangelove, A Hard Day’s Night and Seven Samurai. There are very few movies from the current decade among the Criterion Collection (11, all told, I believe, and two are Wes Anderson flicks). Suffice to say, most of the nearly 500 DVD titles in the Criterion Collection are worthy inclusions (save for Armageddon, a misguided attempt to expand the Criterion audience).
But the Criterion Collection decided to do something a little different - they’ve decided to release a Criterion version of a very recent film. Last year, in fact. Now, if you were going to choose among last year’s releases for a movie worthy of Criterion, what might you imagine would make a decent entry? The Dark Knight, perhaps? Maybe Slumdog Millionaire? Hell, I’d even go with The Visitor as a movie that might be considered a classic two decades from now.
How about The Curious Case of Benjamin Button? Uh huh. That’s right. The two-disc Criterion Collection will be out on May 5th, and it will include a four-part documentary , audio commentary from David Fincher and (!) footage from the red-carpet premiere. Because why not? Over 150 critics cited it as one of the best films of the year. Critics like Rex Reed, Lou Lumenick, Holland Oates, and YouTubeCritic89! You gotta be kidding me, Swillpill.
Not only can you own The Curious Case of Benjamin Button on May 5th, you can pay out your ass for it, because that red-carpet coverage is worth it, damnit!
Thousands of film snobs all over the country have just realized the cultural value of their Criterion collection has plummeted faster than suburban housing.