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Because You Asked For It, More Michael Keaton: You Wanna Get Nuts? C'mon, Let's Get Nuts!

By Rob Payne | Industry | September 9, 2011 |

By Rob Payne | Industry | September 9, 2011 |

The Hollywood Reporter has an exclusive up about Michael Keaton’s next film that is set to begin shooting in November, Penthouse North. The film’s plot is described as centering on a “haunted” photojournalist who attempts to go off the grid in an “upscale New York penthouse,” but unfortunately for her (but fortunately for us) the grid finds her in the form of Keaton playing a “sadistic criminal” seeking a “hidden fortune.” Michelle Monaghan, who has been pretty excellent at playing damaged goods in movies like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, has the role of the emotionally crippled handicapped handicapable photographer who musters “her inner strength to survive.”

That paraphrased description sounds vaguely like Panic Room or Wait Until Dark with Keaton having a chance to channel his villain from Dangerous Measures, which is sort of criminally underrated (while being perfectly acceptable as a movie you never really need to see). That all sounds fairly good for an indie thriller starring the best live action Batman from the Burton/Schumacher cycle of Batman movies…

Except the director is probably best known for Sleeping with the Enemy, which is a movie a number of people only know for being aired constantly on the old WB network in the mid-90s. Still, it was a decent thriller for its time. However, the writer’s most well-known work is the painful to watch (and write about) Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. Yeah. Let that one sink in. Oh, and also, the reason THR is reporting on the movie at all is because the producers are still looking for a U.S. distributor (with Lionsgate handling the foreign release), which almost certainly indicates that U.S. Keaton fans (like me, like many of you) will probably have to wait until Penthouse North reaches the shores of Netflix or Hulu before we’ll have a chance to see it. Which, really and sadly, is to be expected for most of the actor’s recent movies, unless he’s voicing a character in a Pixar movie.

Well, Hell. This post just took a dramatic turn into depressing. That wasn’t my intent (yes it was), but to make up for it, here’s a charmingly cheesetastic YouTube tribute video of Michael Keaton at his Keatonest — if you’re at work, beware of loud noises emitting from your speakers.

And because it is Friday and I’m in a much better mood than before that video, here’s another that puts the header quote to much better use than I did. Enjoy, and don’t say I never did nothing for you.

Rob Payne also writes the indie comic The Unstoppable Force, co-hosts the internet radio show We’re Not Fanboys, and secludes himself from the outside world in the cold comfort of the Twitter machine @RobOfWar.

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