I have never actually seen an episode of “Baywatch.” In fact, I believe the only exposure I’ve ever had to the show was the credit sequence featuring on a few episodes of “Friends,” which was plenty enough to tell me what I needed to know: “Baywatch” is the jiggliest show of all time. And from what I now understand, it apparently wasn’t even a comedy, because Jeremy Garelick (The Break-Up) is aiming to rewrite and direct the syndicated show to give it a comedic spin.
Ha! Garelick might’ve considered giving The Break-Up, a romantic comedy, a comedic spin, too.
Anyway, according to Variety, Baywatch has just the kind of global brand recognition that could make it a lucrative franchise. The film, which was inspired by Garelick’s love of Stripes and Police Academy (brother), will be about “two unlikely lifeguard candidates trying to catch on alongside the buff bodies that will be as abundant in the film as they were in the TV series.”
In other words, they’re going to truck in boobies on platters, wrap them in see-through cotton, and drench them in ocean water while some schlubby dude trips over sand castles oggling them. And in real time, the film will only be 16 minutes long, but the slo-mo sequences will fill out a full 100 minutes. Fantastic. Can’t wait. Shoot me in the head.