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Based On the Shreddiest Shreds of Information, Let's Prejudge All These Shiny New Things Coming To Our Screens

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | March 25, 2013 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | March 25, 2013 |

We’re coming up on nine years since the inception of Pajiba, and during my nearly decade-long run as publisher of this site, I’ve learned a lot about how the Internet works. Specifically, I understand now more than ever that we don’t need much information to form an airtight opinion. A glimpse here or a sentence there, and we’ve made up our minds. It’s up to the marketing departments of the respective studios to change those minds. First impressions mean everything. With that in mind, let’s look at some of today’s industry news headlines.

A six-second teaser Vine (Twitter videos, basically) for Wolverine has surfaced ahead of the 20-second Wolverine teaser we can expect to see tomorrow. You can’t tell much from six seconds, but I like to prejudge things anyway. GOD, THIS LOOKS TERRIBLE. How desperate must they be to reduce their film to a six second loop of scattered images? Click her for the6 Second Teaser of Wolverine.


Thanks to Orson Scott Card’s agressive homophobia, as the release date inches closer, we’re going to see a lot of think pieces on whether it’s OK to watch and/or enjoy a movie based on the writings of a terrible, awful human being. Because I loved the novel, I’m going to put aside my feelings on Card and hope for the best. The first full poster for the movie has arrived, and you can’t tell much from a teaser poster, but I like to prejudge things anyway. GOD, THIS LOOKS AMAZING. In fact, based on this poster alone, I withdraw my support for gay marriage.


There’s also a new 30-second teaser of “Mad Men,” which contains only old footage, but I like to prejudge things anyway. Based on this recycled footage alone, I’m going to go out on a limb and predict the next season of ‘Mad Men” will be THE BEST SEASON EVER.

Actually, maybe it is all new footage. Maybe next season is the Sliding Doors season of “Mad Men.”

We don’t know much about season three of “Homeland” yet, but in an interview with Digital Spy, Damien Lewis assessed Brody and Carrie’s relationship going forward. “Brody and Carrie are over. I think it’s over. I don’t think those two can be together. Can you imagine them being married and bringing up kids?” Based on only that line of thinking, although Lewis has likely not seen scripts for the new season, I’m going to assume he knows what he’s talking about and go on record as saying that season three of “Homeland” will jump the shark and punch it in its dumb little nose. I cannot believe they’d break these two people apart.


The much discussed “Zombieland” TV series has been given a pilot greenlight. Amazon viewers will be able to watch the pilot and decide for themselves whether it should be greenlit to series. I haven’t seen the pilot, obviously, so I don’t want to prejudge, but, it is based on one of my favorite horror comedies, so therefore BEST TV SHOW EVER. I hope this character becomes a series regular.


Finally, the first 14 minutes of the new SyFy series “Defiance” has arrived. Here’s SLW’s very brief synopsis of the show: “Post-apocalypse, seven different alien species invade earth, SyFy channel show set in St. Louis, tie-in MMORPG set in San Francisco will influence television plot, Julie Benz & Jamie Murray, and of course Rockne O’Bannon of “Farscape” fame is running the thing. Boom! There’s a lot to like right there.”

Fourteen minutes is an awful lot of material to allow for a intelligent, though cursory opinion, so I’m going to leave this one alone and allow you to form your own opinions. Snap judgements are my thing; this right here is bullsh*t.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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