I think most of us were initially intrigued by the idea of a third entry of Ghostbusters. Then we remembered that Dan Aykroyd was shilling vodka in crystal skulls and babbling about enlightenment and 500-year old crystal distillation. Bill Murray shat on the idea and refused to partake in the sequel. Slimer was on board, but he’s been looking for some quick cash ever since Ecto-Coolers left the market. In short, it looked grim and possibly disastrous.
Then came the news that “The Office” writers Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg had penned a script. We were momentarily re-engaged until we remembered that “The Office” is no longer very good. Now Aykroyd is attempting to get our hopes up again, while also slyly pissing on Murray with comments about how if he had just signed off we would be seeing a Ghostbusters 3 this summer.
During the interview, Aykroyd repeatedly refers to lawyers sorting it all out since Murray abrogated his rights. He also reminds you that he has a line of vodka called Crystal Head Vodka and it is doing just wonderfully, thank you so much for asking! Aykroyd has more great news for us, guys! There are already ideas for a Ghostbusters 4 and 5! Man-hell-ttan and Ghostbusters in Hell! Sounds just great, doesn’t it? I mean, going to Hell didn’t help Bill and Ted very much, and I don’t think Satan is really a ghost or ectoplasmic entity, but wow! Hell, you guys! Aykroyd, tell us more!
“Listen, I tell ya, after this movie gets made, and maybe the next one: Man-hell-ttan. Man-hell-ttan, and the Ghostbusters in hell, would be so solid, but we gotta get maybe one or two made before that. But, oh, wow… I wrote that with Tom Davis, my writing partner, recently deceased, who wrote Coneheads with me and stuff on Saturday Night Live. There’s classic Tom Davis lines and funny stuff in there, really it’s probably the most humorous of all the Ghostbusters scripts that have generated in that last little while. But we’ll put the humor into this next one. It’s gotta be funny, or it’s not worth doing. It can be scary, it can be Ghostbusters, it can be the new franchise, the new people, but if it’s not funny … Wait a minute, it started as a comedy. Let’s make sure there’s laughs and no laugh unturned and that we really make that our priority, to make it funny and exciting, but mainly funny.”
I’m so excited for this, said no one ever. Just drop it already. At this point nothing can meet expectations or come close to being adequate enough to even bother attempting a third movie. So unless you can get Emma Stone to play Louis and Janine’s kid, complete with the nasal accent she used in that scene in Zombieland, Tom Felton as Dana’s son Oscar, and Donald Glover as Winston’s son? FORGET IT.