As Joanna noted in today’s Pajiba Love, it’s been reported that Brett Ratner has signed on to direct a sequel to Martin Brest’s classic Robert DeNiro joint, Midnight Run.
It’s a terrifying thought, isn’t it? Allowing a man with as little talent and competence as Brett Ratner to direct a sequel to a beloved movie. But if there is a silver lining, it is this: Brett Ratner almost never actually makes the movies with which he’s been attached to direct. In fact, over the last three years, here are 15 movies that Brett Ratner has been attached to direct.
1. Brett Ratner attached to direct Hunting Eichmann, a thriller based on a real-life story about Israeli agents who secretly entered pro-Nazi Argentina to capture Adolf Eichmann. (Deadline)
2. Brett Ratner attached to direct Hercules with Dwayne Johnson. (Vulture)
3. Brett Ratner attached to produce and possible direct “I Want My MTV: The Uncensored Story of the Music Video Revolution. (Coming Soon)
4. Brett Ratner attached to direct an edgy version of Snow White called Brothers Grimm: Show White. (Deadline)
5. Brett Ratner attached to direct Youngblood. (ScienceFiction.com)
6. Brett Ratner dreams of directing a big-screen version of Wicked. (The AV Club)
7. Brett Ratner attached to direct Spielberg produced 39 Clues. (Collider)
8. Brett Ratner would still like to direct Beverly Hills Cop 4. (MTV)
9. Brett Ratner to direct The Reluctant Communist (Collider)
10. Brett Ratner may direct a Milli Vanilli movie. (Slashfilm)
11. Bret Ratner to direct Conan the Barbarian remake. (Slashfilm)
12. Brett Ratner to direct The Adventures of Superman. (Cinemasource)
13. Brett Ratner to direct God of War. (UGO)
14. Brett Ratner wants to make a movie built around Guitar Hero (AICN)
15. Brett Ratner attached to direct a movie about Hugh Hefner starring Robert Downey, Jr. (Cinemablend)
The number of films that Brett Ratner has actually directed in the last four years? One. Tower Heist. The odds that Ratner will actually direct the Midnight Run sequel? Maybe one in 16.
So, until you actually see a finished trailer for Midnight Run 2 directed by Brett Ratner, I wouldn’t sweat it. The Internet has expressed a lot of faux-outrage at the prospect of Brett Ratner finger-banging one of our favorite properties over the last several years, but it was almost all for naught. The man barely has twice the attention span of a gnat and only half the penis size.