This is like when you sleep with that asshole guy, the one you know is an asshole the minute you meet him. You heard he was an asshole from everyone who’s ever been involved with him, including that chick who had the one long relationship with him, but that was because she let him fuck her up the ass without a condom. When she wanted something more, he dumped her. Everyone else who has ever lasted more than a couple of nights was only kept around an extra week or so due to odd proclivities or unnatural desires. But you see him in the bar and he flashes that grin and buys you a drink; you think it’s going to be different. You get on like Nate and Brenda at the airport and then head home, pushing thoughts of the future from your mind. The next time you see him he doesn’t seem quite the same but you tell yourself he’s busy or tired or distracted and try not to take it personally. You get one more quickie, but in the morning he blows you off and tells you he’s not interested. You shake it off and let your friends convince you that you were too good for him anyway and should have gone for the other dude who smiled at you over his Hefeweizen. A week goes by and you decide to get back out there, see what’s shaking. You get yourself all gussied up, maybe buy a new frock and boots and head to the tavern again. You walk in, take a look around and through the sea of eligible men with whom do you lock eyes?
Not Fox. Do you hear me Marc Webb? You do not look at Fox, you do not listen to Fox, you do not believe the words he passes in a note like a Godtopus-damned high-schooler. You keep your modicum of self-respect and you walk the other frakking way. You do not hand that slimy network the keys to your new comedy, “Battleground”; you do not trust their script commitment. You just don’t.
“Battleground” is described as an ensemble comedy revolving around political campaign workers written and executive produced by Webb. Check back soon for news of its cancellation.