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OK, Calm Down, It Was Just A Bird. You Don't Control The Birds. You Will Some Day, But Not Today.

By TK Burton | Industry | August 25, 2010 |

By TK Burton | Industry | August 25, 2010 |

Filed under: “At first I was surprised, but then, oh, of fucking course

Those of you who are iPhone zombies like me have probably heard of, if not played, the iPhone and iPad game “Angry Birds.” It’s painfully simple and from what I understand, relentlessly addictive. Basically, you have a slingshot, and you catapult various birds at different structures and try to knock them down to get to the pigs within. Yeah. Mrs. TK is insanely addicted to it, and keeps trying to get me to download it. Thus far, I’ve refused because a) I already have enough things to suck up my time and b) I only play video games where I can shoot, stab, or disembowel other creatures. I need my games to reflect my real life.

Um. Anyway. The game has sold roughly a gajabshillion copies, and Finnish game developer Rovio wants to conquer the world move into movies, television, games and who knows what else with it. Mikael Hed, the… uh… head of Rovio Mobile says they want to turn it into essentially a global icon, and envisions a movie animated by the likes of Aardman Animation, the wonderful crazy people behind “Wallace and Gromit.”

I don’t know how realistic an idea it is, given that by the time a movie is written, cast, re-written, re-cast, and actually created, it’s likely that the world will have forgotten about “Angry Birds” altogether. Not to mention that it’s not exactly a story-rich concept. Plus, IT’S A FUCKING MOVIE BASED ON A FUCKING IPHONE APP, YOU STUPID COCKMONKEY!!

Ahem. A thousand pardons. Here’s the trailer for the game, created by Rovio:

Melted a hole in your brain, didn’t it.

(source: Slashfilm)

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TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.