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Park Chan-wook Fans -- Get Out the Murdertank

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | January 7, 2010 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | January 7, 2010 |

You like Park Chan-wook’s Vengeance Trilogy but bothered by all those annoying subtitles? You find stunning visuals annoying? Don’t really care for simple, but visceral violence? Not really into moral gray areas?

You’re in luck! Although Park Chan-wook’s American remake of Oldboy with Spielberg and Will Smith is all but dead, fear not! Warner Brothers has purchased the remake rights to Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, the first in the Vengeance Trilogy, according to Screen Daily. Fantastic, right? We all love crass American remakes! Hoo-wa! Semper-Fi!

And just to show you how much respect that Warners has for Park Chan-wook, they’ve hired Brian Tucker to pen the script. Never heard of him? Don’t worry about it. Trust Warner Brothers. They know what they’re doing! Who needs a veteran talent to adapt a legendary film? Not when there’s a perfectly good nobody walking the streets. Better yet, he’s cheap, so they can save all there money for EXPLOSIONS!

Amen. Hoo-ra! American Flag! Little Pink House for You and Me, motherfuckers.

Hey! At least they got Mabrouk El Mechri (JCVD) to exec produce.

Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance follows the character Ryu’s efforts to earn enough money for his sister’s kidney transplant and the path of vengeance that follows. And who needs Shin Ha-kyun when maybe you can get Nic Cage? Or Taylor Lautner? Thanks, America!

Oh, but there’s more. I checked with the Hollywood Cog after learning that Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance was being remade, and guess what?! So is Park Chan-wook’s Thirst, which just came out last year (it was on Prisco’s list of the Top Ten Indies of 2009). Brian called it ” incredibly complex and stirring.” Hey! That’s just the sort of thing that Hollywood loves to remake, cause they’re so well known for “complex and stirring” works. Yay, Team. (That said, Prisco said a remake might work if they set it in Boston during the winter.)

Vertigo Entertainment is developing that remake, and Sonny Mallhi (The Strangers, The Lake House) is set to produce, and who wouldn’t want a guy who produced a movie about a time-traveling mailbox producing a soon-to-be classic Korean film for American audiences, who love subtlety. Hey! Let’s Twilight this motherfucker! Stuff those vampires in a mailbox!

The Thirst remake is still in the very early stages of development; it’s currently out to writer and director possibilities.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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