I have long lived by the belief that when it comes to inferior, low-quality sequels to classic films (U.S. Marshals to The Fugitive, Escape From L.A. to Escape From New York, Jason Bourne to the entire The Bourne… series, every other film after Die Hard With A Vengeance), I simply pretend that those sequels do not exist and refuse to acknowledge them in any way, shape, or form. It’s how I’ve long felt about every other sequel that came after Alien and Aliens.
(Even Sigourney Weaver seems to feel the same way, mostly regarding the Alien vs. Predator films, as she expressed earlier this year on Alien Day during a Q&A for an Alamo Drafthouse-sponsored screening of Aliens to celebrate its 30th anniversary: “Well, I’ve never seen Alien vs. Predator because I heard that the Alien loses, and I was like ‘Well, fuck that.’”)
As far as I’m concerned, Aliens ended with (SPOILER ALERT for a 30-year-old film that’s considered a groundbreaking classic in the sci-fi/action genre) Ripley, Newt, Hicks, and Bishop destroying the Alien Queen once and for all, and then getting into their ship and heading back home alive and well, to never again have to deal with another Xenomorph for the rest of their days. No ‘Ripley crash-lands onto a prison planet with everyone else from the last film killed off and then finds out that she’s pregnant with an Alien,’ no ‘Ripley comes back from the dead as a half-human/half-Alien clone to team up with Hellboy and Joyce Byers, only to have Joss Whedon complain and talk shit about it all as if he had no part whatsoever in telling this story,’ none of that.
And the less said about Prometheus, the better. (Idris Elba and Charlize Theron, two of the sexiest human beings on the planet, hook up in your film and you don’t show that happening. Really, people?!)
All of that being said, this new poster for the next Alien film to be directed by Ridley Scott, is simple and impressive enough to almost make me forget about my previously-held beliefs regarding the Alien series, and give this one a shot.
It’s an Alien. And the poster is telling you exactly what you should do if you have the misfortune of seeing one in person.
Not that it would help you, but still.
Alien: Covenant opens in theaters May 19, 2017.