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"After Watching Last Week's Episode of 'Glee,' I Decided to Experiment with My Gender Identity," Said No One

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | April 23, 2012 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | April 23, 2012 |

Just when you thought Bill O’Reilly was actually making some gains in his effort to position himself as the “sane” anchor at Fox News, the “O’Reilly Report” anchor — and recent defender of Ellen Degeneres against the “McCarthyistic” One Million Moms — is bashing “Glee.” Not for the obvious reasons — because the show is terrible — but because he’s afraid that last week’s episode, which featured a transgendered character, will be a bad influence on kids.

“Here’s the problem with a show like this, though,” O’Reilly said in the segment of his Thursday night show, “The O’Reilly Factor”, flagged by the advocacy group Media Matters. “If you make the behavior of these people … if children hear it, unsupervised children, okay who don’t have parents watching their — they might go out and experiment with this stuff.”

“Do you really think that this is the kind of thing that’s contagious?” responded guest Judge Jeanine Pirro.

“I don’t know,” said O’Reilly.

What he did know, he added, is that watching James Dean smoking as a kid, made him want to light up.

Well, obviously, smoking and wearing women’s clothes are comparable. It’s a good thing that James Dean didn’t live long enough to star in a movie like Some Like It Hot, otherwise there’d be an entire generation of cross-dressing men because, obviously, we’re all that vulnerable to persuasion. Thank God I stopped watching “Glee” two seasons ago, otherwise I’d be a pregnant, cross-dressing cheerleader with schizophrenic taste in music and a tendency to cram too much exaggerated drama into 42-minute segments of my life.

“I watched last week’s episode of ‘Glee,’ and all I got for my efforts was this lousy sex-change operation. If only I’d watched it under the supervision of my parent, I might not have caught the transgender disease, which I’ve managed to avoid up until now only because I use disposable toilet seat covers.”

“Is it contagious?’ Oh, O’Reilly, you really are the world’s biggest moron.


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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.