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After House Vote to Reopen Government, House Stenographer Rails Against Freemasons As Security Drags Her Away

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | October 17, 2013 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | October 17, 2013 |

Good morning, everyone! In case you missed it, last night your government decided to re-open shortly after midnight, which meant that — if you work for the federal government — you may have gotten a late-night call asking you to come into work this morning, which means no Price is Right for you today. Tune in again a decade from now the next time the government shuts down, and maybe Drew Carey will have returned to his natural weight.

But all was not candy, roses, and the sweet aromo of Ted Cruz’s defeat, as a House stenographer named Molly decided that re-opening the government was the perfect time to let the House know her feelings about God, and the atheist heathens who founded the United States. What better time than during C-Span’s highest rated hour since Jennifer Garner took the the Senate floor to rail against the paparazzi taking pictures of her kids, eh?

“God will not be mocked. The greatest deception here is that this is not one nation under God. It never was. It would not have been. The Constitution would not have been written by Freemasons. They go against God. You cannot serve two masters. Praise be to God. Praise be to Jesus.”

Now, to be fair, Molly has been cooped up in the House of Representative with other, better-compensated insane people, she probably hasn’t been paid for weeks, Michelle Bachman was probably eating her crazy-lady medicine, and Rep. Phil Gingrey was probably playing forced footsie with her to kill the time. Let’s cut the poor woman some slack, although the government should probably do better background checks on the people it hires to work in the same room as the leaders of our country.

(via Gawker)

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.