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Adam Sandler Movie Wins Every Single Razzie Award; Conservative Wingnuts are P*ssed

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | April 3, 2012 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | April 3, 2012 |

The Razzies unveiled their awards to the worst of 2011 last night with little fanfare, having moved out out of the shadow of the Oscar ceremony and into the shadow of “Who Gives a Shit.” The loser? Jack and Jill. In every single category.

Worst Picture: Jack and Jill

Worst Actor: Adam Sandler, Jack and Jill and Just Go With It

Worst Actress: Adam Sander (as “Jill”) Jack and Jill

Worst Supporting Actor: Al Pacino (as “Al Pacino”) Jack and Jill

Worst Supporting Actress: David Spade (as “Monica”) Jack and Jill

Worst Screen Ensemble: The Entire Cast of Jack and Jill

Worst Director: Dennis Dugan, Jack and Jill and Just Go With It

Worst Remake, Rip-off, or Sequel: Jack and Jill (Remake/Rip-Off of Ed Wood’s Cross-Dressing Camp Classic Glen or Glenda)

Worst Screen Couple: Adam Sandler and either Katie Holmes, Al Pacino, or Adam Sander, Jack and Jill

Worst Screenplay: Jack and Jill Screenplay by Steve Koren & Adam Sandler, Story by Ben Zook

There’s very little surprise here. Honestly, Jack and Jill was the worst movie of the year, and I saw Abduction and Bucky Larson. There should be no controversy. But of course, the conservative winguts over at Big Hollywood decide to make a federal case out of it, complaining that the Razzies only nominate movies popular in flyover country to curry favor with the liberal establishment.

The Razzies also prided themselves this year on giving Adam Sandler a record amount of nominations for his involvement in films like “Jack and Jill,” “Just Go With It” and “Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star.” All were done under Happy Madison Productions, and “Jack and Jill” ended up winning the lion’s share of the “trophies.” Why go after Sandler? Because his films appeal to the everyman. They’re watched by those strange people in flyover country who have probably never heard of Terence Malick or Sacha Baren Cohen.

Obviously, Happy Madison is not above critical bashing, but it seems their films are treated with the same scrutiny from liberal critics as movies such as “The King’s Speech.” It’s like judging softball in the same way you judge baseball. Sandler’s films have one goal, and that is to make people feel good. Quite frankly, they mostly do the job.

Not to become one of those out-of-touch conservatives, but let’s put a different spin on this: “The Tree of Life” had national reports that people were walking out of theaters and demanding their money back, and it only managed to bring in $13.3 million. Not much for what was supposed to be such an artful and life-changing film. Then there are films like “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.” Yes, the trilogy of books were written by a communist hero, and the plots suggest a very long and boring journey to a conclusion no one will care about. What a perfect opportunity for liberal “artists” to take advantage and pretend they are more intelligent than the fool who entertains himself with “Happy Gilmore.”

I don’t even know where to begin, so I won’t. I’m just going to let it go, and hopefully one of you nice commenters will take up the rant mantle. I don’t have the energy.

Also, Stieg Larsson wasn’t a Communist; he was a Socialist. GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT DIPSHITS.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.