We are on a roll, people. It’s been a good week for movie news, ain’t it? Some cool trailers, the outstanding Coen brothers news, Matt Damon turning everything he touches to gold, Morgan Freeman playing Nelson Mandela, Amy Adams (who is awesome by default). Yeah, things are looking up, aren’t they. Movies might actually be taking a turn in the right direction.
Yeah, well, go fuck yourselves, because Adam Sandler is here to piss on your rainbow.
Apparently, Sandler feels like he’s losing the war in hideously awful premises. He feels the fetid breath of the Wayans brothers down the back of his asshole neck, and he’s coming back to shit in the fruit bowl. His next project is a romantic comedy called Jack and Jill, a romantic comedy featuring a twin brother and sister — I assume the romance part isn’t between the siblings, but who fucking knows, right? I mean, we’ve got a goddamn Human Centipede movie to contend with, and someone else made a movie about raping zombies. I say we’ve reached the point where all bets are off.
Where was I?
Oh, right. Jack and Jill. So, here’s the catch. Are you ready for it? It’s brilliant. It’s a genius bit of cinematic tomfoolery. It’s a motherfucking humdinger, people. Wait for it… wait for it… He’s going to play both the brother and the sister! Fuckin’ aces, right? Yeah! Suck on that, Little Man. Adam Sandler will out-shittify even the shittiest of shit comedies.
Yeah. Here’s your No Whining Wednesday. All of you can go straight to hell.