When I got married to Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate ten years ago next week, I didn’t cry. Why? Because I’m a man, and men don’t fucking cry during one of the most poignant, lovely moments of their lives. Men sack up! And while our brides are walking down the aisle, we think about all the ass that we’re no longer gonna be able to tap. But it’s totally fucking worth it, y’all, because when I put that ring on Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate’s finger, that meant that I’d never have to make another sandwich again. It just so happens that I like making sandwiches, which is the only reason I make my own. Every time.
Feminists can take our jobs, they may be able to take custody of our children, and they may be able to hide behinds the flames that erupt every time they burn a bra, but by God, they can’t take away our dignity as we deliver our wedding vows, amirite fellas?
He's thinking about all the side hoes he has to give up pic.twitter.com/7e1Kyiz8VM— Meninist (@MeninistTweet) May 22, 2015
Crying, at his own wedding! What kind of sensitive asshole cries at his own wedding. I mean, his wife-to-be looks amazing in that dress, and yeah, maybe he’s a little excited about committing himself to this obviously wonderful woman, with whom he may have children and grow old with, and who may die three days after him of heartache when their 90, but WHATEVER. Act like you gotta pair?
Or I was thinking about my wife, but you know, do you. https://t.co/MS5TBkT0hy— Adam Harris (@AdamHSays) May 23, 2015
HEY! That’s no way to respond to a mocking, maybe even racist insult from the Meninists! He’s going to own that? And throw it back in their faces? What kind of bullshit is that? Where does he get off being so secure in his manhood and comfortable with advertising his love for a woman?
A traitor to our gender is what he is! A nice, thoughtful, loving traitor to his gender! I bet he makes her sandwiches, too! And I bet they’re delicious. HE’S THE WORST.