ABC — the motherfucking American Broadcasting Company, a real live television network that comes free with a pair of rabbit ears (or a coat hanger with tin foil) — has lowered itself beyond the pale, picking up a new reality show that makes the Fox network look like freakin’ AMC.
The show is called “Conveyor Belt of Love.”
It’s exactly what you think. Thirty men are lined up on a conveyor belt in front of a panel of five women and given one minute to impress them.
If a woman is interested in someone, that man will step aside and wait as the rest of the men go by. But if another man comes by on the belt that seems better than that woman’s first choice, she can swap out the man waiting off of the belt as many times as she wants until the last man has passed by. If two or more of the women are interested in the same man, the tables turn and the man on the conveyor belt gets to choose which one he would like to wait for. After all 30 men have made it through the “Conveyor Belt of Love,” each woman is left with her final choice as they embark on a date in the hope of finding a true connection.
Sounds less like a reality dating show and more like a goddamn human cattle call. Why doesn’t each man just hold out his member and the women can give each one a try. Blindfolded. Premature ejaculators are automatically dinged. Bonus points for the shocker.
You know it’s where were heading.
Is there a teaser trailer “Conveyor Belt of Love”? You bet!