I was very excited when I saw that there was a clip available this morning from “SHIELD”. And not just a first teaser, first trailer, first interview with the writers, first behind the scenes look, first introduction to the characters, or any of the other myriad of first videos that have wormed their way out onto the Internet with ever accelerating adjectives of awesomeness peppering the titles. No, this was purported to be an actual clip from the show. I was prepared to visit an anonymous man’s suburban home, be guided to a hidden basement with blindfold, and seated in a soil-walled room with but a single dangling lightbulb for company besides the rickety 16mm projector that rattles to life of its own accord. I was prepared for that in order to view such a video.
I was not prepared to have to “like” Entertainment Weekly on Facebook in order to watch the damned thing though, I mean COME ON.
And of course it’s not embeddable, because they need to drive traffic to their Facebook page … no that makes no sense, a corporate Facebook page exists to drive traffic elsewhere, if the page exists for its own sake then Zuckerberg will grow wings of dark mithril and block out the sun with his bellow.
I haven’t felt this dirty since Facebook made me “like” the Expendables for a trade news post a couple of years ago. And I’ve blocked all memory of why I did that even though Stallone’s face still pops up on my feed for some reason.
So I won’t ask you to sully your Facebook account with this. I’ll just describe what I saw in this magnificent 57 seconds:
0:00: The Entertainment Weekly logo appears.
0:15: Still just the logo
0:35: Yep, that’s the same logo.
0:50: Point at which I realize that the time isn’t moving.
1:30: Firefox opens, trying that instead of Chrome
1:55: Yep, that’s a logo alright
2:12: Same logo …
2:36: How about Internet Explorer?
2:48: Well the good news is that the video manages to show their logo in any imaginable browser.
3:45: Logging on to other computer.
4:02: Gosh, on Chrome on Linux that logo looks good too!
4:45: Scroll down original page where I read about the clip, read a dozen comments saying that the video won’t load.
5:32: Start writing this piece.
I can tell you guys that it was worth every penny for Entertainment Weekly to pay to have that video exclusively on their Facebook page. As far as I can tell they didn’t actually pay for the rights to any “SHIELD” footage, but only enough for the right to uses the words “SHIELD Clip” in the description of a video that only contains their logo.
But we should be more forgiving of this large media corporation’s woes. After all, it’s a terribly new and difficult and cutting edge thing to put video on the Internet.