Sometimes, you find content in the strangest places. In this case, a podcast ad for Squarespace during a Reply All podcast, where a stripper named Jacq explained the benefits of Squarespace by offering, as an example, a post she wrote about how to get the perfect stripper body.
The ad — and the subsequent post — amused so much that I felt it necessary to share. Read the entire post, but the gist of it is this: You need only a chair, a middle-aged man, high heels, a mini-dress, and some Top 40 Music.
Here’s how you take those things and, with a little dedication, give yourself the perfect stripper body:
Take your chair and set it in the middle of your workout space.
Sit your stranger in the chair.
Put on the highest heels you have. Slip into the slutty dress. It should not have any zippers.
Standing in a straddle over your stranger — who is staring at you, breathing heavily and judgmentally — do the following:
Slip off dress over your head or ass. (However you like, as long as you do it while standing up, appearing effortlessly blasé and horny at the same time) 20 squats 3 hair flips 20 dips 3 hair flips 80 hip undulations (40 clockwise, 40 counterclockwise) 5 hair flips
Remaining standing, slip dress back on.
Every hour, dance off-beat to three songs.
I CAN TOTALLY DO THAT.
Watch out world, I’m going to use this very simple and fun technique and turn my body into TEMPLE.