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Your Suffering Shall Be Endless

By TK Burton | Industry | January 25, 2010 |

By TK Burton | Industry | January 25, 2010 |

This is what I return to? Seriously?

Sometimes I hate this fucking gig.

OK, so there was this movie, right? And Ben Stiller was in it. And it sucked moldering hyena balls. Which, of course, means it made a bershmillion dollars. Because they apparently gave out free handjobs with the popcorn or something. So inevitably, they made a sequel. With Ben Stiller again. And it made the moldering hyena balls actually look appetizing, because this one really sucked the big dick of death. Only this time, Stiller felt the need to take Amy Adams down with him, because he’s an assface like that.

By now you’ve gathered that I’m not talking about the goddamn Fockers franchise. However, it’s worth pointing out that Stiller, who was once funny and can even, on blue moon occasions, give some life to dramatic roles as well, has two … TWO … comedic franchises that are making him obscene amounts of money. The Focker films, and the Night At The Museum films.

So, because that last one, which featured Adams and Robin Williams playing the non-coked-up, non-funny parody of himself, made enough money to gold-plate the moon, they are apparently making a third one. At least, so alleges Thomas Lennon, the co-writer of the first two. In an interview with Access Hollywood (Guh. This article is everything I hate), Lennon nudge-nudge, wink-winks his way to essentially admitting that there will be a third entry, saying, “How could you not? I think it’s a really outstanding idea to do ‘Night at the Museum 3,’ in fact.”

Anyway, apparently 20th Century’s wheels of suffering are already turning on this one.

I’d like to punch-punch, stab-stab you in the kidneys, Mr. Lennon.

TK Burton is an Editorial Consultant. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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