Some Sh*t Done Blow'd Up, Y'all
I know far too many of you are prone to giving in to the ridiculous, bloated, overhyped, brain-torturing, senses-blasting, flag-waving excrement fire piles that are Michael Bay films. I don’t get it, except for Bad Boys, which is just flat-fucking-out. The rest of Bay’s oeuvre, however, makes my capillaries throb. Why bother with a storyline when you can just blow shit up? If it were just the explosions, though, I could cope. It’s the heavy-handed, faux-profound, red-state profundity that makes me want to crawl up in my own ass to avoid sight of his films. Yeah: I know. Mindless escapism and all. But if you’re going to give us mindless escapism, at least shove a shotgun up a guy’s ass, right? Do something besides blow up something big and then make out on top of the rubble.
Anyway, this here video — put together by THR — is for those of you who just like the kaboom, hold the vegetables. It’s a tribute to Michael Bay, and by “tribute,” I mean: A series of loud explosions. And you know what? It’s the end of the day. It’s probably exactly what you need. So grab some ibuprofen and crank up the speakers (it’s OK, our audio ads have been pulled, at least temporarily). Sit back and feel your brain leak from your ears: