Welcome back to the Humpday Hodgepodge. In this installment, we begin by learning that ABC, like many a pitcher before it, is apparently going to take a mid-season break to have its way with Alyssa Milano. The Alphabet is believed to be ready to pick up 13 episodes of her sitcom “Romantically Challenged,” a surprise to many because (a) the network seems to already have a full midseason slate, (b) the network kicked Milano to the curb last season, dumping whatever shitty pilot it was she was peddling then, and (c) the show sounds lame. It’s about a dude who is torn between his best friend who’s all “pay attention to me” and his girlfriend (Milano) who’s all “pay attention to me.” And I’m sorry, but when Alyssa Milano is one of the ones playing tug-o-war with you, the best friend loses. Every time. Which is why this is a stupid premise.
Meanwhile, I have to confess that I still watch “Grey’s Anatomy.” I don’t know why, I can’t explain why I watch a show that I largely detest, and I deserve and accept your scorn. And yet I watch it. So it does make me happy to know that the infinitely-annoying Ellen Pompeo will be missing a few episodes next season so she can spit out a kid (they won’t be writing the pregnancy into the show). And she may wind up missing more than just a few episodes, because her dangerously thin self may split right the fuck in two when that kid comes jolting out. In other “Grey’s” casting news, Martha Plimpton is going to have a multi-episode arc because, while Goonies never die, they do need to eat.
And because it’s been a while since we’ve seen any news about remakes, what with Hollywood being flush with ripe, new ideas, it brings joy to my heart to tell you that NBC is remaking “The Rockford Files.” An excellent classic TV show, beloved by many just begs to be remade, right? The remake is being penned by David Shore, the creator of “House,” and what’s confusing about this is that he apparently hates updated remakes, but took this one because he loves the show so much. Someone explain that fucking logic to me, eh?