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8 Things You Need To Know In Order To Be a Productive Member of Today's Pop Culture Society

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | March 19, 2013 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | March 19, 2013 |

The title of the first episode of the third season of Steven Moffat’s “Sherlock” will be “The Empty Hearse,” a play on the The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and the Empty House (via Collider). The episode should explain (spoiler)


(end spoiler)

I feel like this is something that we’ve already mentioned, but I can find no sign of it, so you should all know that Christian Bale may soon exchange his bat cowl for … whatever it is that Moses wore. Stone tablets and a robe? He’s in talks to star in the film from director Ridley Scott. Steve Zaillian is reworking the script.

The long-gestating The Man from U.N.C.L.E., which once had Steven Soderbergh at the helm, but now has Guy Ritchie in the director’s chair, is apparently eyeing Tom Cruise for the lead because, er, people still like him in Europe. The film is based on a 1960’s television series The original TV series starring h Robert Vaughan and David McCallum who played Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin, two agents of the United Network Command for Law Enforcement. Way to stretch those acting muscles, Tom.

Warner Brothers has bought the rights to the forthcoming book Bunker Hill: A City, A Siege, A Revolution, a book by Nathaniel Philbrick. Because it is Boston-set, Ben Affleck’s name has obviously become attached to the film about the Battle of Bunker Hill. Affleck may or may not be aware of this, but I’m sure Mark Wahlberg is pissed that he wasn’t asked to star in it first. Come to think of it, given that they are the same age and from the same metro area, it is a little odd that Wahlberg and Affleck haven’t worked together before, but maybe this explains it.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters was not a very good movie, and it only made $54 million in the United States, but because it made over $200 million internationally, Paramount has obviously seen fit to develop a sequel.

Speaking of bad ideas, Joel Silver has decided to reboot Escape from New York. I wouldn’t worry too much about it,, though. I feel like this is probably the 10th time someone has decided to reboot or sequalize Escape from New York in the past five years, and so far, it has never materialized.

We have mentioned Seth MacFarlane’s Western, A Million Days to Die in the West, which has already signed on Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Amanda Seyfried, and Giovanni Ribisi. Now Sarah Silverman has joined the cast as a prostitute who refuses to have sex with her fiance (Ribisi) until they are married because she’s a good Christian and believes in that sort of thing. MacFarlane’s film, according to THR, follows “a cowardly sheep farmer (MacFarlane) who chickens out of a gunfight and sees his girlfriend (Seyfried) leave him for another man. When a mysterious woman (Theron) rides into town, she helps him find his courage. But when her outlaw husband (Neeson) arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put his newfound courage to the test.”

Finally, the only reason in the world to own MTV is “Awkward,” their splendid, hilarious, and brilliant coming-of-age show that will soon be entering its third season. Here’s the trailer.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.