OK, it’s official. End times. Dogs and cats, living together. The dead will rise soon. Up is down. Black holes are going to spontaneously appear and devour our young. The Quickening. What I’m saying is, some shit is coming down, and this is clearly a sign that the end is nigh.
Because if you thought last week’s Keanu-as-Jekyll-and-Hyde news was fucked up, this is… I mean… this can’t be real, can it? Apparently, there’s another adaptation of the Stevenson classic in the works, to be directed by Abel Ferrerra (King of New York, Bad Lieutenant). This one will star Forrest Whitaker as the good Doctor Jekyll. And as Mr. Hyde? One Curtis James Jackson.
AKA 50 Cent.
50 fucking Cent.
We are all so fucked. If you need to find me, I’ll be in my basement, loading guns and sharpening knives, waiting for the apocalypse.