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5 Things You Need to Know to Avoid the Brain Damage Associated with Minutia Withdrawal

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | July 10, 2012 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | July 10, 2012 |

One of the first things I do each morning after I wash my face with a frying pan, comb my hair with a wagon wheel, and make the kids’ lunch is to stroll through the various trade news websites to pluck out magnificent stories to relay to our marvelous readers. You can kind of go to any one of them and find the same five stories: Headlines expanded into 300-word posts to appease the SEO Gods. Me? I like bullet points. It’s the same information easily digested into brains softened by breakfast cereals.

  • According to THR, there will be an Independence Day 2 because, of course there will. For some reason, it took Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich’s typewriter monkeys years to come up with the inspiration for the sequel, but they finally “feel we have a worthy concept, a worthy path to go.” My only question? Will the White House be rebuilt between installments, and if so, will they blow it up again?

  • Per a report from the New York Post, Marvel is finally loosening its purse strings and is offering Scarlett Johannson $10 million per heaving, acrobatic breast to appear in The Avengers sequel, which will make her the richest actress in the world, in her heart. The actual wealthiest actress will remain Kristen Stewart. For reals, though: Johansson deserves every penny, inasmuch as anyone deserves obscene amounts of money for pretending to be someone else. Besides CGI-Hulk, Johansson was the best part of The Avengers.

  • Twitch is reporting that Wes Anderson — coming off his second most successful film at the box office, Moonrise Kingdom — is assembling the cast for his next film. Those potential names include Johnny Depp, Jude Law, Angela Lansbury, Owen Wilson, Bill Murray, Edward Norton, Jeff Goldblum, Adrien Brody and Willem Dafoe. They’ll probably all accept and work for scale because that’s the power of Wes. Someone should compare his casts with Woody Allen’s and determine which does the better job of attracting scale-paid talent.

  • Finally, did you know that they’re still going ahead with the Wolverine sequel? But before you ask yourself why, here’s some casting details for the congealing project: Will Yun Lee has been cast as Kenuichio Harada a.k.a. the Silver Samurai, according to Variety, and according to Coming Soon, Hiroyuki Sanada will play Shingen and Hal Yamanouchi will play Yashida. James Mangold (Knight & Day) is still directing, the movie will be filmed and set in Japan, and there’s still a summer 2013 release date scheduled.

    Finally, this is not to be included among the five items. It’s a BONUS because I love you all THAT much. Here’s a very young Giancarlo Esposito (“Breaking Bad’s” Gus Fring) hanging out with Big Bird on “Sesame Street.” Not shown: After this clip was filmed, Esposito cut off Big Bird’s head and used the meat to start up Los Pollos Hermanos, which is Spanish for Fried Big Bird.

    (Image via Reddit)

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    Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.