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5 Really Boring Hollywood News Items Because the Internet Is Not Interested in Entertaining You Today

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | July 24, 2012 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | July 24, 2012 |

  • British sensation and all around outstanding director, Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Fuzz vs. The Pilgrim) has lined up his next project. According to Deadline, He’ll be directing Collider, a movie produced by sci-fi funboy, J.J. Abrams. What’s Collider about? Who the hell knows. All we know is that Mark Protosevich (I Am Legend) is penning the script along with Wright, and that it’s probably a sci-fi flick.

  • David Ayer, the guy who brought us Training Day, has teamed Sam Worthington and Arnold Schwarzennegar together in Ten, which is being described as “a testosterone-heavy riff on Agatha Christie’s Ten Little Indians.” Skip Woods (X-Men Origins: Wolverine) wrote the screenplay.

  • Denzel Washington, who has never had his own franchise, is lined up now to play the lead in The Equalizer, a possible franchise loosely based on the television series. According to Deadline, Denzel will “play a solitary, monastic figure who hates injustice and devotes himself to helping people who are being victimized.” Filming begins next year in Boston.

  • Mike Epps will return as Black Doug in Hangover III, according to Variety.

  • Over on The Playlist, they’re reporting that Jeremy Renner may play Julian Assange in a biopic possibly directed by Bill Condon, but who knows?

  • Finally, lots of people are picking up on the fact that Anne Hathaway mentioned in an interview that she might be up for a Catwoman spin-off, which doesn’t mean it will happen. In fact, it almost surely will not.

    I’M SORRY. I don’t have a lot to work with here. The news is really dull this morning. You want me to INVENT exciting news? OK. Fine. How about this: A big-screen version of The Doctor Who movie, the centerpiece of which is a randy menage a trois between Matt Smith, David Tennant, and Billie Piper?

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    Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.