5 Really Boring Hollywood News Items Because the Internet Is Not Interested in Entertaining You Today
British sensation and all around outstanding director, Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Fuzz vs. The Pilgrim) has lined up his next project. According to Deadline, He’ll be directing Collider, a movie produced by sci-fi funboy, J.J. Abrams. What’s Collider about? Who the hell knows. All we know is that Mark Protosevich (I Am Legend) is penning the script along with Wright, and that it’s probably a sci-fi flick.
David Ayer, the guy who brought us Training Day, has teamed Sam Worthington and Arnold Schwarzennegar together in Ten, which is being described as “a testosterone-heavy riff on Agatha Christie’s Ten Little Indians.” Skip Woods (X-Men Origins: Wolverine) wrote the screenplay.
Denzel Washington, who has never had his own franchise, is lined up now to play the lead in The Equalizer, a possible franchise loosely based on the television series. According to Deadline, Denzel will “play a solitary, monastic figure who hates injustice and devotes himself to helping people who are being victimized.” Filming begins next year in Boston.
Mike Epps will return as Black Doug in Hangover III, according to Variety.
Over on The Playlist, they’re reporting that Jeremy Renner may play Julian Assange in a biopic possibly directed by Bill Condon, but who knows?
Finally, lots of people are picking up on the fact that Anne Hathaway mentioned in an interview that she might be up for a Catwoman spin-off, which doesn’t mean it will happen. In fact, it almost surely will not.
I’M SORRY. I don’t have a lot to work with here. The news is really dull this morning. You want me to INVENT exciting news? OK. Fine. How about this: A big-screen version of The Doctor Who movie, the centerpiece of which is a randy menage a trois between Matt Smith, David Tennant, and Billie Piper?