Hannibal was passed on by Amazon and Netflix, which is pretty fucking stupid. However, it looks like the best idea ever conceived by mankind compared to these three lumpy turds.
1. The Cujo remake is called C.U.J.O..
What the fuck, right? BUT WAIT. THERE’S MORE. What does C.U.J.O. stand for?
“Canine Unit Joint Operations”
Fucking what? It sounds like instead of getting a terrifying rabid dog murder spree we will instead be getting some animated dogs that, when infected with rabies, become a crime fighting squad. Fuck off.
2. Disney is making a live-action Prince Charming movie.
This may not sound like a fucking dipshit move, but stay with me here. The script for the Prince Charming flick was written by Matt Fogel, he of Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son infamy. And that’s the script he wrote that was good enough to get made.
3. There’s a
third fourth Alvin and the Chipmunks movie.
Fucking enough said.