The Screen Actors Guild (SAG) Awards took place last night, and just like every other goddamn awards ceremony, this one is supposed to be a huge barometer for the Oscars. Apparently, we can’t actually appreciate any one awards ceremony for what it is, its only importance is for what it tells us about the Oscars, which we also don’t really care about, which makes the rest of awards season slightly less important than the already unimportant Oscars.
But, winners and losers are fun, especially when they involve celebrities. Because we love celebrities, right? Ohmyeffinggod! Did you hear? Brad and Angelina split. Let’s all tear our own heads off.
Anyway, if these awards are indeed a gauge for the Oscars, then it looks like more of the same, which is Jeff Bridges, Chrisoph Waltz, Mo’Nique, and Sandra Bullock.
Wait? Sandra Bullock? Again. Lookit: I like Sandy. Everybody likes Sandra Bullock. She’s likable as all hell. If I were forced to watch a marathon of romantic comedies featuring only one bad actress, I’d probably choose Sandra Bullock’s oeuvre over that of the other major leading romantic comedy leads. She’s an amiable, inoffensive presence.
But she cannot act. I have no idea what this obsession with her performance in The Blind Side is all about, but she was not very good. I liked the movie well enough, but I’m telling you, it was a less than mediocre performance. What? Is Southern lady the new retard?
Never go full Southern lady, folks. Seriously, she was like the female version of James Van Der Beek in Varsity Blues
Carey Mulligan is the only logical choice in that category. I think all the award voters are turning populist on us. It’s distressing.
Ensemble Cast: Inglourious Basterds
Male Actor in a Leading Role: Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
Female Actor in a Leading Role: Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Male Actor in a Supporting Role: Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds
Female Actor in a Supporting Role: Mo’Nique, Precious
Stunt Ensemble: Star Trek
Male Actor in a TV Drama: Michael C. Hall, “Dexter”
Female Actor in a TV Drama: Julianna Margulies, “The Good Wife”
TV Drama Ensemble: “Mad Men”
Male Actor in a TV Comedy: Alec Baldwin, “30 Rock”
Female Actor in a TV Comedy: Tina Fey, “30 Rock”
TV Comedy Ensemble: “Glee”
Male Actor in a Made-for-TV Movie: Kevin Bacon, Taking Chance
Female Actor in a Made-for-TV Movie: Drew Barrymore, Grey Gardens
Stunt Ensemble: “24”